the lovey dovey feeling...

this day of every month has always been a day that i look forward to. Counting the number of months we've been together and the good times we've spent with each other. Both my phones still have the reminder which woke me up this morning. Of course I do not need the reminder to remind me of this day but it was added just for the fun of it. This is a day which I will always try my best to make it a special day for her. Well they are all memories now and honestly I only have fond and sweet memories now. Someone once told me that I'm a person who's quick to forgive and slow to forget. Well I think he's right.

Had a fun time catching up with my bunch of good friends last night at Yuen's steamboat. Some of us go back more than a decade together. Well, i guess i must be old enough to be able to say that. It was indeed an enjoyable time where we just shared our lives and shared jokes and laughter together. Saw her there with her family and somehow I felt a little sad last night for I really wanted to be there together with them. When they left I walked past them and her mere hello was good enough to melt even the coldest heart. She used to tell me this phrase which if I have the chance to tell her in person in the future, i would love to... "You had me at hello"

I recently attended a wedding and the groom actually said that when he was entering his first year of University, he was asked to fill in a form and there was this question in the form asking candidates what will be their greatest dream? The best answered will then be posted on a website or something. The groom answered... To marry a beautiful wife and have 2 kids and he said thankfully his answer wasnt chosen as the best answer if not he'll be a laughing stock at his university. The groom then went on to say.. "today i've acheived first half of my dream."

Well, for most people.. that will not be their greatest dream but i for one echo him.

Growing up in my family and seeing how my dad works so hard to support the family and how my mum works equally as hard to take care of us... She wakes up early to ensure everyone has good breakfast to start off the day and also fetched us to school when we were young... well this is really something that i would want in my own family too in the future. I think i'm quite an egoistic guy and I would want to work ultra hard right now to earn a living good enough to support my wife so that she does not need to work unless it's her choice to want to work. But I understand living in this day and age is difficult but i would sure like to try doing so in the future.

Most people would think that a man should have bigger dreams but I would think what good is it to earn the world and not being able to be with someone that you cherish and you would like to spend the rest of your earthly life with...

Well i know i'm no romeo and definitely no casonova. I'm just a simple person desiring to put a smile on faces of people i care most in my life. I know it's
getting more and more difficult to do so too.. but i'm making a commitment to focus on what is right in front of me. My family, my friends, my colleagues and
people who crossed paths with me. I'm not giving up on dreams and wishes i once had. I'm just being practical right now. Living each day by itself and really doing the best in everything given to me be it in my job, church work, at home and also enjoying the company of my friends and family. I believe if what i desire is what God intends for me, HE will grant me my heart's desire even if it means i have to wait. I have faith in Him..

Feeling a little lovey dovey today... so here's a song i would like to share which i heard on the radio when i was out for lunch...

SHOWER ME WITH YOUR LOVE - Surface
My heart is filled with so much love and I need
Someone I can call my own
To fall in love,
that's what everyone's dreaming of
I hold these feelings oh so strong

Life is too short
To live alone
Without someon
To call my own
I will care for you
You will care for me
Our love will live forever...

Chorus:
Shower me with your love
Shower me with the love that I long for
Shower me with your love
Shower me with the love I've been waiting for

I close my eyes and pray all my wishes come true
Every nite I go to sleep
Until you're mine, I'll wait for you endlessly
Can't you seeFairy tales, they do

Sometimes come true
If you believe, it
Could happen to you
Like the stars that shine
Way up in the sky
Our love will live forever...

Like the stars that shine
Way up in the sky
Our love will live forever
Live forever...


for all lovers out there... appreciate the one you have next to you eventho he/she may be a little difficult at times. CHEERS!


ciaoz..

I'm Forever Yours... Planetshakers

I'm Forever Yours

I give my all to You
Send me and i will go for You
I'll follow after You
I want the world to know
Your love endures forever

Tell me and i'll obey
This is far greater than sacrifice
Trusting You and not myself
Will always lead to blessing
Lord have Your way in me
Not my will, Yours be done

Here i stand within Your presence
Longing for Your touch
A thousand days cannot compare
with one day in Your courts

Hold me now
And never ever let me go
My Jesus, my precious Savior
I'm forever Yours

I will worship You forever
I will worship You


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This song has really helped me alot along the way. And now it's time I share it with all.
"Trusting Him and not myself will always lead to blessing... " This is one statement that I really need to believe in and to understand for the rest of my life.

Sometimes i still feel the pain, sometimes i feel like i'm getting a heartattack. I know the pain and the lessons i've learnt made me who I am today. I really can't say whether I became someone better but i've certainly learnt and have seen alot. I can dream of fairy tale endings, dream of fantasies but I know that there is a time and place to dream and well the time and place is not now not here. So many questions, so little answers. So many thoughts, yet I'm still clueless. Seeking to find an explaination to everything is pointless and for now is not what I want to do.
No answers I can find that can satisfy me more than Jesus.

Not quitting on what I truly feel deep down but time for me to take a break.

Roller coaster rides i've taken alot.
Time for me to take the ferris wheel for a change.

Joy and Happiness

the joy of seeing others happy is something that i've always enjoyed doing and something that i've always want to do. People always tell me that you need to be happy yourself too but then when i sit down and think of things that will really make me feel happy, well nothing makes me happier than seeing and making people laugh, smile, etc.. just being happy.

I used to enjoy going to shopping complexes, airports, markets, etc. Places with alot alot of people, just to see the many faces, the many lives that God has created. From each face, you can try to write a story about and from each smile and laughter, you can roughly guess why he/she is happy. When dad was at the hospital a few months back, i visited the infant floor a couple of times. Wishing to catch a glimpse of some newborn as well as to catch the look on the faces of expecting parents.. well, if there's a rating to how happy they are based on their facial expression, i think the rating would 11/10... overjoyed.

Another place to be to see happy faces would be at weddings. Well, i've attended quite alot this year and seeing the couples smile and blush at each other while exchanging rings or even giving each other their first kiss as couples is a sight never to be missed. Another time that I saw very happy faces was during CDPC's 8th anniversary 2 weeks ago. The faces of those who have toiled and who have put in so much effort day and night for the success of the anniversary day shows it all on that day itself. It's the face of satisfied joy, fulfilling joy... and accomplished joy.

It's been awhile again since i last wrote here. and well, the title for this post will be none other than.... "Joy and happiness". Not something new, but it's something everyone cannot get enough of. I for one enjoy being happy, enjoy spreading and receiving joy... if i have one wish from God, I would ask for unending happiness. I know it's impossible to have that but I would definitely love that very much.

being happy is not just about smiling and laughing... it's about true inner joy.

do you want to be happy today? well... i want to.

CDPC 8th Anniversary

Happy Birthday CDPC.... (City Discipleship Presbyterian Church)

was indeed tiring today but enjoyed totally. Reached home about 8am from work this morning. Cant help but to just fall on my bed to catch a short nap which lasted till about 9am then rushed off to church. Was suppose to be there by 830am though. Once in church, went to set up the PA systems and went up and down to help out as well. Once service started everyone was already very hyped up by the atmosphere. Praise & Worship was fantastic, singing songs from the good old days to the songs written by CDPC members. Reflecting on the many blessings that He has showered upon us. After P&W, sermon was good. Enjoy listening to Peter Rowan, and how he can really bring out God's word in a humorous and yet challenging manner.

In the middle of the sermon, was summoned to the back to change and make up for the drama. All the kids surrounded me asking whether i'm suppose to be a clown and Sean said I was a lau gong gong... Old grandfather. Which was of course correct... played Uncle Bob in a short drama, depicting the many different individuals we have in church and how each and everyone contributed to CDPC and how we appreciated and are grateful to each and everyone; members and friends of CDPC..

After the drama, there was a video presentation done by Sam showing the life of CDPC for the past year. After the service, everyone went downstairs for a carnival and we had loads and loads of fun. YongYi and gang led the live band and the crowd cheered through out the presentations of songs. Food was more than enough to feed hundreds of people. Games were very well planned and kids enjoyed them thoroughly. Played some games myself too. Played table-tennis with some pros too. Discovered that CDPC has lots and lots of great table-tennis players. Cant tell from their every Sunday look. hahaha. Hannah Yeoh stopped by too and was very quickly pulled into conversations by pastors. Overall I would say that the event/carnival was a very successful one. I enjoyed very much.

Got home at about 3, went online, did some personal stuffs and went to bed about 4pm. Slept till about 8pm. Had dinner, surfed net a little more and decided to go out have a drink with Jia Wei and Kar heng. Enjoyed their company. After yum cha, it was about 12am already. Went home played a game of literati. Chat with some old and new friends and decided to leave house at about 1am.

Well, that was how my day went by. Come to think of it. I really do have a superbly packed weekend. Talk about being tired. hahaha

have a feeling that i'll have a rough week this week. Not too sure why, but no matter what I'll go through, I'll always remember that even the storm, the winds and the waves listen to the One who've created them and I believe in Him.

good nite y'all. All sane and perfectly normal people should be sleeping now already. But me? hahaha.. working lah...

orite, signing off.

ciaoz.

forgotten about you...

another post with the similar name.

well, the reason why i started blogging was because there was an emptiness, a void in my life, previously occupied by a girl of my dreams. Stopped blogging awhile not because the void has been filled but because my time has been occupied with other things. Part of me wants to rest and the other part wants to just go on and on working and doing other things. I enjoy strecthing myself to the limit. Putting my physical self to the very extreme, learning very much to grow my spiritual self and letting my emotional self rest awhile and not do anything.

Really want a break but then again just do not feel like having a break. Love planning things in advance but nowadays things I do are so ad-hoc I begin to love doing things ad-hocly, unplanned, last minute. Not too good I know but then it shows how flexible i can be. I can have the luxury not to work late, not to work weekends but sometimes, I feel I need to especially overnight jobs. I can learn so much just being alone in the office. I enjoy the drive to work at late nights, no cars, no lights. Seems like a drive to nowhere but yet trusting and knowing that I'll be somewhere.

Sometimes I really don't know who i'll be and what i'll do if it's not for God. I'm not a very spiritual, religous kind of person but i'm a very relationship kinda person. When i get commited to a relationship, I know I want the best for that person and I think that's how I treat my relationship with God. I want to my very best to please Him, to bring glory to His name. I know i'm not made perfect and yet I know that i'm made according to His image, how wrong can that be?

I googled my name... and this is what i've found

Joe
Origin: Hebrew
Meaning: May Jehovah add/give/increase

indeed Has given me so much, He has added so much in my life and every day He increases my portion. I hope whatever that I have I can really share it with everyone. I hope the name Joe does not just stop at the part where I get all that Jehovah gives but I want to be a channel of blessing to others too. What more can I ask, if i really do have a chance to talk to God face to face. I think I will ask Him to add to me humour and ever lasting crappiness. If there's one way that I can win the world for Christ, I would choose to win the world by being a joy bringer. Suddenly i remember a song I used to sing when I was in Australia... it's by planetshakers and it goes like this..

REFLECTOR
Since i've found your love
I've never needed anything to fill my heart
Even when i fall
You're always there with open arms to pick me up

From the start i knew
No one else could make me feel the way you do
Everyday i want to grow
Just a little bit closer, just a little bit closer

I want to be a reflector
I want to shine with your glory
I want to let the whole world know that you're
Living in me

I want to burn with your fire
Shine my light a little brighter
I want to let the whole world know that
Jesus Lives in me

What a privilege it will be to be a reflector of Christ. That's what I want to be and that's what I'll strive to be.

How time flies, it's July already. Suddenly I feel the reality of life. Everyday passes me by and I feel i did not do enough for that particular day. Someone told me today that no time is wasted time. For it is from what we've been thru and what we've learned that makes us who we are today. Well couldnt say it better myself.

I would like to do a survey one day, send out a questionaire to 100 friends and see what they say about me. hahaha. Hopefully most of them would say I'm a joy bringer more than a sorrow bringer. Well, then again.. sometimes it's not what others say that matter. Even if the whole world thinks i'm crazy, i'm not good enough... as long as my family, my close friends knows i've done my best and i'm who i am, that's satisfying enough and I think that matters more to me than whatever global recognition that I will ever receive one day.

443am right now. Hopefully everything is smooth at work. I should be able to leave by 6am, go home sleep awhile and go church bout 8+ to help out.

CDPC is 8 years old today. Enjoyed growing with CDPC and hopefully I can contribute for many more 8 years to come.

signing off...
ciaoz..

forgotten about you...

hahaha.. my blog lah.. who else?

wow, totally forgotten i have a blog. Must be too caught up with everything that has happened. Work was quite crazy, preparing for wedding was quite crazy too but the results and the outcome was satisfying enough and I do hope Aaron and Joyce really enjoy themselves yesterday. Hmm.. where should i start...

let's go back to friday...
well, got to work about 8+. Nothing much to do at work coz I was actually asked to attend a meeting at KLCC 29th floor, Microsoft office. After entering the office, I now know what an office should really be like. Colors everywhere, cafe, nasi lemak, sofa, Xbox?, hahaha... now that's working with an attitude. how I wish my office was like that.. after meeting, makaned at Wisma Central which is becoming quite popular in my lunch place list when i'm in KL. After makaned, dissapeared around 3pm. Supposed to help out in the decoration and stuffs but was a little sick so decided to have a short nap. Dinner was superb that night coz we had a Koinonia reunion. Makaned at Jo's Restaurant. Well, actually I opened it wan, din tell everyone only. Hahahha. Just kidding.

dinner was cut short coz we have to run through the wedding rehearsal and we needed it to end early coz the next day was the big day already. So rehearsal was smooth and we ended about 10pm. After that, mamak with the guys. hmm.. which really makes me think. Back in melbourne, definitely there's someone carrying a camera wherever we went, that explains the 10000's of photos I have from Melbourne. I'm going to start of that trend again. Capturing all the wonderful moments I have with all my pals and uploading them all to facebook. Abit dissapointed/sad coz the photos for the past 3 years mostly were taken with her and of course posting it in facebook would make her angry I guess.. well, so have to take more photos from now on.. hahaha

saturday was an extreme day for me...
started out at about 8am... got to church, opened the doors, etc. Turn on the music and just chilled till about 815am when the florists brought fresh flowers for deco. Lepak there till about 930am then ppl started coming. Every single wedding in church either prior to or during, sure one song will be played and it has brings back lots and lots of memories when I'm with her. Steven Curtis Chapman's I will be here... nice song, super lovely type.. hahaha. Anyway, after that the people started coming in and things get more and more heavy on me but it was fun. Especially when Uncle Thea keeps smiling non-stop. I'm sure he's super happy coz he smiled from 10am till 10pm. Hahaha. The ceremony was good. I was super nervous being the emcee and also thinking what was left out the whole time. Every single minute I was asking God for more grace and wisdom to plan and to remember.. Thank God He was there all the time. After the ceremony, went over to Aaron's to pick up some beer and wine to be brought over to Tai Thong. Thank God for Anthony's storm, we can put all of it in one go. Reached tai thong and after unloading, it rained cats and dogs.. hahaha super funny putting that in a sentence. Anyway, again it was all God's timing. Not letting it rain a few minutes earlier or else all the wine and beer will be wet. After the transporting, went home and was dead tired... after showering, collapsed on my bed and slept for about 45 minutes. Dreamt a sweet dream too... hahaha duwan to share.
Was awaken by an sms by Kelvin and then I rushed to change and drove out to pick him up. We got to the restaurant about 530pm and the cham cha session has already begun. Kelvin started video-ing and I went to look for the restaurant manager to get him to arrange seatings, songs for walking in, vegetarian meals, baby-chairs, wine pouring, sequence of events... etc. Wow, lots of things to plan ok for wedding. I think God is preparing me to throw a superb wedding celebration for my own in the future. hahaha. Not too sure how long more lah.. all in His time.

during the entire dinner, I think my table (all ex-Seafieldians) were the noisiest and craziest but it was so good catching up with all of them. We drank almost one carton of beer and was half cuckoo already by the end of the dinner. Dinner ended about 11+pm and everyone wanted to go karaoke which is just 1 floor up. The gang went up to get a room first while I was packing up and making sure everything was done properly at the end. Went up 10 mins later and not knowing which room they were in, told the receptionist that there was big crowd who just came up and the waiter brought me from room to room and I was laughing all the way coz it was all the wrong room. Decided to call jiawei and to my surprised, they were all downstairs waiting for me... argh!! hahaha.

we went over K3K benta kaya for supper to wait till 12am coz neway a little cheaper after 12. Had a crazy time crossing the road and CheeWai was already more than half cuckoo... hahaha. Enjoyed the brief coffee session at K3K and proceeded to Karaoke there after.

Went in and immediately wanted to sleep coz the sight of the comfy sofa was too captivating.. hahaha. but ended up singing almost all the songs coz somehow karaoke songs are very suitable for heartbroken people... songs like... All by myself, Unbreak my heart, Feelings, quit playing games with my heart, Yesterday, etc.. hahaha.. Enjoyed the singing session. Really crazy people but enjoyed thoroughly. Played dice with Alle and made her drink alot.. muahahaha that's classic man.

after karaoke, headed over to jiawei's for football match between holland and russia which of course Russia won... stupid. Now i have to pay for JiaWei's futsal next tuesday. Hahaha. Anyway, everyone was sleeping and not watching so after half time we all decided to go home. KarHeng was way past drunk. Hahaha. Came home about 4+. After changing, washing up, etc... collapsed once more on my bed with lots and lots of happy thoughts. Thanked God for the entired day and told Him my heart's desire and trusting that somehow someway He knows what's best.

Woke up about 1030 this morning and skipped church... super malas. hahaha

went over to YongYi's at about 1pm for worship team gathering and laughed and laughed at games played and was real encouraged by the sharing of the new members who joined. Gathering ended at about 3pm and I came home to sleep again after that... i've been really sleeping alot nowadays i mean after noon naps where I used to tell Leng that long noon naps are no good... hahaha now i'm eating my own words.. kakaka... well, I love sleeping nowadays coz when things in reality are not really what you want sometimes, all you need to do is to sleep and dream and hopefully you manage to dream the dream you wanna dream... understand??

well, a long post to compensate the missing posts for the past few days...

signing off with tiredness but full of joy...

ciaoz.

sleepy at work..

came in work around 10pm.. went for a drink with my colleagues till about 11pm, went up to 23rd floor to meet up with the users i'm supporting. Waited till about 12am for some processes to complete and went out for a drink again.. just got back and here I am blogging at 8th floor. hahaha...

very very sleepy already... another 8 hours to go before I can go home... hopefully all works well and no problem at all. Found myself a PC with full internet access. hahaha can play any games I like while standing by.

orite.. goin to check out what else I can do before going back to 23rd to support the users.

ciaoz...