My Life.....

I'm back to where I was but this time only stronger. I've cried, I've laughed, I've been through it all. Well, not all but I've been through a fair deal of mixed emotions. I have to admit I'm lost, clueless, puzzled and confused. I've heard that it is only when you are in the most distressed and hopeless situation that God works through you. Saying that God knows best sure is easy but really believing it in my life is difficult. I can't thank Him enough for everything that I have today. Many would see me as someone who's blessed and indeed I believe so too. Sighs, I'm guilty of asking for more. I'm guilty of not being grateful and thankful at times. Not being appreciative of the countless blessings that God has given to me.

I'm hurting... I know it's only normal. Need to really depend on His grace to see me through. I'm not as tough as I thought I would be. This is indeed a humbling process. God really knows how to hit me where it hurts the most. Not blaming Him but maybe I'm just not patient enough to see the good out of the whole thing. Maybe I should be learning patience. I really need to just be patient enough to anticipate and be quiet enough to listen.

Sighs, i'm living in regrets but I know I have to really propel myself out of this situation i'm in. When I know not what to do and what to think sometimes, all I could do is to just cry out Father, Father, Father... sometimes I don't get a response but I know He's there. The matter of the heart is really the most impossible to figure out and the most difficult to fix. Arghh.....

gjgpdoiugpdfklgdkfgdfogpidgfk

just messed up, don't know lah... too much head knowledge but can't reach the heart. Hopefully just hopefully I can really climb out of all these becoming a better person. Living everyday for itself is something I never would have done a year back but now just enjoying and understanding the fact that everyday is a new blessing from God and is a new day that I can anticipate His grace and mercy. Malas to plan too far ahead. So what if we store up tons of savings planning for our future when sometimes what we want and what we plan just dont work out. Well but I should not worry too much coz my future is already crafted in His perfect plan.

AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

much better... hahaha..
shouting in cyber space can be done anytime.. no noise polution.

just realize it's Merdeka eve. Used to plan for countdowns but this year... as celebrations are mellower due to cut costs measure by the gov, well guess I should also just be quieter and just recount the many blessings God has blessed Malaysia as a nation and to me as a citizen of Malaysia.

took me 3 hours to complete this simple post... but I do feel a little better now.

gonna go makan wan tan mee... super hungry..

=)
smiling despite the hurt for I know God knows best.
ciaoz...

I will love

I Will Love

by Hillsongs

I will love You Lord, my strength

I belong to You

I will bless You while I live

And I will lift my hands up in Your name

Jesus, You alone are holy

You alone are holy

Name above every name

Lord Jesus, You alone are worthy

You alone are worthy

Jesus, the Lamb that was slain

Nailed to the cross for me

Died and rose again

You redeemed me to the Father by Your blood

You cleansed me from all sin

God knows best

"God Knows Best"

Our Father knows what's best for us, So why should we complain ... We always want the sunshine, But He knows there must be rain.

We love the sound of laughter And the merriment of cheer; But our hearts would lose their tenderness If we never shed a tear.

Our Father tests us often With suffering and with sorrow; He tests us, not to punish us, But to help us meet "tomorrow."

For growing trees are strengthened When they withstand the storm; And the sharp cut of the chisel Gives the marble grace and form.

God never hurts us needlessly, And He never wastes our pain; For every loss He sends to us is followed by rich gain.

And when we count the blessings That God has so freely sent; We will find no cause for murmuring And no time to lament.

For Our Father loves His children, And to Him all things are plain; So He never sends us "pleasure" When the "soul's deep need is pain."

So whenever we are troubled, And when everything goes wrong, It is just God working in us To make "our spirits strong."

~ Helen Steiner Rice ~

I wonder, friend, how often you have wept a bitter tear And asked: "Why is this happening to me?" "What step was taken wrongly to deserve this dreary fate, What action brought about this tragedy?" Only to find in time a vital reason for it all, And Faith you thought so steady put to test, To look back with such wonder at the workings of his hands; 'Dear Lord, Thy will be done, and God knows best.'

It happens to us all, we are so mortal and so weak All too human in our strange an earthly ways, Falling often by the wayside on our journey through this life Seeking light and fighting ignorance's haze. Truly friends, the help is there, for as ye seek so ye shall find And at journey's end how well you shall be blessed If you truthfully can say without a doubt within your heart Dear Lord, Thy will be done, and God knows best!

smile,
eujoe

exhausted..........

i'm exhausted..........

I had an awesome week. Managed to catch up with new and old friends. The catch up sessions were fantastic. Enjoyed everybit of it. Sometimes you wonder how much you can just tell someone about your life, work, etc. Little MJ's song that goes just call my name... i'll be there.. has always been some sort of an inspiration to me on how to live a life that is ever ready to be there for someone. I want to relive my.. don't worry it's on the way philosophy. Sometimes you really know that to help someone it means to go out of your own comfort zone and out of your way but if helping and being there for someone is always according to your time, schedule and what you feel like doing, everyone can do it and no one will ever need help anymore. I have activities lined up almost every other day. The need to talk and to listen is so great sometimes that I just cannot sit alone in my room for a few minutes. After going through what I would say is the most occupied time of my life, I have 3 words I need to tell myself.... "Have a break!" Did not make it to church today cause I spent some time with my colleagues, new and old after annual dinner last night at karaoke. Just wanted to be there cause many times I was invited but i turned down the offer. Well, had a good time being there to listen, to sing, to reminiscent the past when some songs are played. Good memories occupied my mind, brought a smile to my face as well as a tear to my eyes. No longer have questions like if only, what if, why... but just hopes and dreams that i've commited and surrendered to God.

after living for 25 years, I begin to understand alot of things. I begin to see alot of new things in life. I begin to feel feelings i've never felt before. Well, it's a new chapter of my life that I'm still learning everyday to cope with. It's impossible not to have rollercoaster rides but what is important is through every ride, I know God is there to take those plunge with me and will be there to pull me up. Hope I can be there for people the same way I was helped as well. I've learned that sometimes it's better to sit and listen than to give advise when not needed to. Don't try to fix the problems people go through but just be there to hear them out. That's what I'm going to do from now on.

Hehehe.. wonder what will the reciprocation be if i use the same approach at work.

Been sleeping quite alot nowadays, physically tired but not to the extend that I need the sleep but somehow emotionally and spirtually, I think i need the rest to just allow me to enjoy what God has created... sabbath. I echo what cheewai said the other day at cell about being idle and speechless.. and enjoying time alone. Sometimes just sitting on my bed doing nothing after a long day is what i need.

enjoying the rest i can get right now before a new week begins...

shalom!