that lil thing known as expectations...

was facebooking at was thinking what should I write for my status and well this thought came to mind.. Expectations... hmm..

guess everyone has expectations.. but really life is so much more enjoyable and less complicated if there's no such thing as expectations. Well, i for one am guilty for setting high expecations on others and i live to regret some of the expectations i've set.

tired... dunno what to write already.

just.. sighs.. weird feeling i'm having now..

better get ready for duty at church later..

a short and quite meaningless post...

ciaoz.

home where i belong...

back to work after a week's rest... expected tons of work and lots of follow ups but was pretty much the opposite. Mailbox was flooded though. Took my time reading through the tons of mails I received yet not even a single one that I really wanted to read. Guess I'm still having the holiday mood. Well the past week I was in China, visiting several places and I must say that well as bad as many say China would to be, there's still some good in it. Like how history is preserved and how people really love their country and their traditions. Overall it was quite an enjoyable trip. No need to plan to do things just sleep, wake up follow the tour group, eat, shop and back to sleep again... for many years, going on trips is just a time where i hope so so very much to be back as quick as possible. This time around, I was hoping that the last day was the first day. Sighs, don't understand arr... but that's how life goes I guess... I'm still clueless but being clueless is quite cool sometimes... well at least i'm not the person who has all the answers now.

It's October already.. how time flies. Wonder what will happen in November or maybe in December. How abour January, February, etc etc... Told my friend not to think too much and instead I'm the one doing all the thinking. Must really really learn how to depend on God for my everyday provision and directions... I know He's good and He's faithful.. Thank God for His ever abiding presence. I'm where I am today because of Him... Thank You..


smiling with the thought of _ _ _.

100th post: Ever Wondered Why?

ever wondered why we are who we are?
ever wondered why we are where we are?
ever wondered why things happened without a reason?
ever wondered why happy times fly by so quickly and unhappy times seem to be forever?
ever wondered why good guys suffer and bad guys have all the good things in life?
ever wondered why some people are born rich and some are so poor?
ever wondered why there are natural disasters?
ever wondered why God allows suffering?
ever wondered why so many questions we seem to have the answer but only know about the answer when someone else answered the question?
ever wondered why some scenes in life seem so familiar its like deja vu?
ever wondered why people who are in high positions don't seem to think or act better than people in low positions?
ever wonder why the whole eco system seem to work perfectly without anyone bothering about it?
ever wondered why life is so filled with wonders?
ever wondered why we know we lack something in life yet we do not want to admit we do?
ever wondered why God would gave us His son Jesus to die for our sins though we really did not do anything to deserve the sacrifice?


if i would to write all the questions i have in my mind right now, i guess i'd need to stay in office for my entire life coz new questions keep popping in my head. I used to really like to have all my questions answered, well sometimes I still do... that's why the many whys?

well...i found an easy way.
Let's just say i found an answer to all the questions... it's in Him, Jesus.

I've survived a 100 posts!!!! Praise the Lord!!!!!
woohoo.........

My Life.....

I'm back to where I was but this time only stronger. I've cried, I've laughed, I've been through it all. Well, not all but I've been through a fair deal of mixed emotions. I have to admit I'm lost, clueless, puzzled and confused. I've heard that it is only when you are in the most distressed and hopeless situation that God works through you. Saying that God knows best sure is easy but really believing it in my life is difficult. I can't thank Him enough for everything that I have today. Many would see me as someone who's blessed and indeed I believe so too. Sighs, I'm guilty of asking for more. I'm guilty of not being grateful and thankful at times. Not being appreciative of the countless blessings that God has given to me.

I'm hurting... I know it's only normal. Need to really depend on His grace to see me through. I'm not as tough as I thought I would be. This is indeed a humbling process. God really knows how to hit me where it hurts the most. Not blaming Him but maybe I'm just not patient enough to see the good out of the whole thing. Maybe I should be learning patience. I really need to just be patient enough to anticipate and be quiet enough to listen.

Sighs, i'm living in regrets but I know I have to really propel myself out of this situation i'm in. When I know not what to do and what to think sometimes, all I could do is to just cry out Father, Father, Father... sometimes I don't get a response but I know He's there. The matter of the heart is really the most impossible to figure out and the most difficult to fix. Arghh.....

gjgpdoiugpdfklgdkfgdfogpidgfk

just messed up, don't know lah... too much head knowledge but can't reach the heart. Hopefully just hopefully I can really climb out of all these becoming a better person. Living everyday for itself is something I never would have done a year back but now just enjoying and understanding the fact that everyday is a new blessing from God and is a new day that I can anticipate His grace and mercy. Malas to plan too far ahead. So what if we store up tons of savings planning for our future when sometimes what we want and what we plan just dont work out. Well but I should not worry too much coz my future is already crafted in His perfect plan.

AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

much better... hahaha..
shouting in cyber space can be done anytime.. no noise polution.

just realize it's Merdeka eve. Used to plan for countdowns but this year... as celebrations are mellower due to cut costs measure by the gov, well guess I should also just be quieter and just recount the many blessings God has blessed Malaysia as a nation and to me as a citizen of Malaysia.

took me 3 hours to complete this simple post... but I do feel a little better now.

gonna go makan wan tan mee... super hungry..

=)
smiling despite the hurt for I know God knows best.
ciaoz...

I will love

I Will Love

by Hillsongs

I will love You Lord, my strength

I belong to You

I will bless You while I live

And I will lift my hands up in Your name

Jesus, You alone are holy

You alone are holy

Name above every name

Lord Jesus, You alone are worthy

You alone are worthy

Jesus, the Lamb that was slain

Nailed to the cross for me

Died and rose again

You redeemed me to the Father by Your blood

You cleansed me from all sin

God knows best

"God Knows Best"

Our Father knows what's best for us, So why should we complain ... We always want the sunshine, But He knows there must be rain.

We love the sound of laughter And the merriment of cheer; But our hearts would lose their tenderness If we never shed a tear.

Our Father tests us often With suffering and with sorrow; He tests us, not to punish us, But to help us meet "tomorrow."

For growing trees are strengthened When they withstand the storm; And the sharp cut of the chisel Gives the marble grace and form.

God never hurts us needlessly, And He never wastes our pain; For every loss He sends to us is followed by rich gain.

And when we count the blessings That God has so freely sent; We will find no cause for murmuring And no time to lament.

For Our Father loves His children, And to Him all things are plain; So He never sends us "pleasure" When the "soul's deep need is pain."

So whenever we are troubled, And when everything goes wrong, It is just God working in us To make "our spirits strong."

~ Helen Steiner Rice ~

I wonder, friend, how often you have wept a bitter tear And asked: "Why is this happening to me?" "What step was taken wrongly to deserve this dreary fate, What action brought about this tragedy?" Only to find in time a vital reason for it all, And Faith you thought so steady put to test, To look back with such wonder at the workings of his hands; 'Dear Lord, Thy will be done, and God knows best.'

It happens to us all, we are so mortal and so weak All too human in our strange an earthly ways, Falling often by the wayside on our journey through this life Seeking light and fighting ignorance's haze. Truly friends, the help is there, for as ye seek so ye shall find And at journey's end how well you shall be blessed If you truthfully can say without a doubt within your heart Dear Lord, Thy will be done, and God knows best!

smile,
eujoe

exhausted..........

i'm exhausted..........

I had an awesome week. Managed to catch up with new and old friends. The catch up sessions were fantastic. Enjoyed everybit of it. Sometimes you wonder how much you can just tell someone about your life, work, etc. Little MJ's song that goes just call my name... i'll be there.. has always been some sort of an inspiration to me on how to live a life that is ever ready to be there for someone. I want to relive my.. don't worry it's on the way philosophy. Sometimes you really know that to help someone it means to go out of your own comfort zone and out of your way but if helping and being there for someone is always according to your time, schedule and what you feel like doing, everyone can do it and no one will ever need help anymore. I have activities lined up almost every other day. The need to talk and to listen is so great sometimes that I just cannot sit alone in my room for a few minutes. After going through what I would say is the most occupied time of my life, I have 3 words I need to tell myself.... "Have a break!" Did not make it to church today cause I spent some time with my colleagues, new and old after annual dinner last night at karaoke. Just wanted to be there cause many times I was invited but i turned down the offer. Well, had a good time being there to listen, to sing, to reminiscent the past when some songs are played. Good memories occupied my mind, brought a smile to my face as well as a tear to my eyes. No longer have questions like if only, what if, why... but just hopes and dreams that i've commited and surrendered to God.

after living for 25 years, I begin to understand alot of things. I begin to see alot of new things in life. I begin to feel feelings i've never felt before. Well, it's a new chapter of my life that I'm still learning everyday to cope with. It's impossible not to have rollercoaster rides but what is important is through every ride, I know God is there to take those plunge with me and will be there to pull me up. Hope I can be there for people the same way I was helped as well. I've learned that sometimes it's better to sit and listen than to give advise when not needed to. Don't try to fix the problems people go through but just be there to hear them out. That's what I'm going to do from now on.

Hehehe.. wonder what will the reciprocation be if i use the same approach at work.

Been sleeping quite alot nowadays, physically tired but not to the extend that I need the sleep but somehow emotionally and spirtually, I think i need the rest to just allow me to enjoy what God has created... sabbath. I echo what cheewai said the other day at cell about being idle and speechless.. and enjoying time alone. Sometimes just sitting on my bed doing nothing after a long day is what i need.

enjoying the rest i can get right now before a new week begins...

shalom!

the lovey dovey feeling...

this day of every month has always been a day that i look forward to. Counting the number of months we've been together and the good times we've spent with each other. Both my phones still have the reminder which woke me up this morning. Of course I do not need the reminder to remind me of this day but it was added just for the fun of it. This is a day which I will always try my best to make it a special day for her. Well they are all memories now and honestly I only have fond and sweet memories now. Someone once told me that I'm a person who's quick to forgive and slow to forget. Well I think he's right.

Had a fun time catching up with my bunch of good friends last night at Yuen's steamboat. Some of us go back more than a decade together. Well, i guess i must be old enough to be able to say that. It was indeed an enjoyable time where we just shared our lives and shared jokes and laughter together. Saw her there with her family and somehow I felt a little sad last night for I really wanted to be there together with them. When they left I walked past them and her mere hello was good enough to melt even the coldest heart. She used to tell me this phrase which if I have the chance to tell her in person in the future, i would love to... "You had me at hello"

I recently attended a wedding and the groom actually said that when he was entering his first year of University, he was asked to fill in a form and there was this question in the form asking candidates what will be their greatest dream? The best answered will then be posted on a website or something. The groom answered... To marry a beautiful wife and have 2 kids and he said thankfully his answer wasnt chosen as the best answer if not he'll be a laughing stock at his university. The groom then went on to say.. "today i've acheived first half of my dream."

Well, for most people.. that will not be their greatest dream but i for one echo him.

Growing up in my family and seeing how my dad works so hard to support the family and how my mum works equally as hard to take care of us... She wakes up early to ensure everyone has good breakfast to start off the day and also fetched us to school when we were young... well this is really something that i would want in my own family too in the future. I think i'm quite an egoistic guy and I would want to work ultra hard right now to earn a living good enough to support my wife so that she does not need to work unless it's her choice to want to work. But I understand living in this day and age is difficult but i would sure like to try doing so in the future.

Most people would think that a man should have bigger dreams but I would think what good is it to earn the world and not being able to be with someone that you cherish and you would like to spend the rest of your earthly life with...

Well i know i'm no romeo and definitely no casonova. I'm just a simple person desiring to put a smile on faces of people i care most in my life. I know it's
getting more and more difficult to do so too.. but i'm making a commitment to focus on what is right in front of me. My family, my friends, my colleagues and
people who crossed paths with me. I'm not giving up on dreams and wishes i once had. I'm just being practical right now. Living each day by itself and really doing the best in everything given to me be it in my job, church work, at home and also enjoying the company of my friends and family. I believe if what i desire is what God intends for me, HE will grant me my heart's desire even if it means i have to wait. I have faith in Him..

Feeling a little lovey dovey today... so here's a song i would like to share which i heard on the radio when i was out for lunch...

SHOWER ME WITH YOUR LOVE - Surface
My heart is filled with so much love and I need
Someone I can call my own
To fall in love,
that's what everyone's dreaming of
I hold these feelings oh so strong

Life is too short
To live alone
Without someon
To call my own
I will care for you
You will care for me
Our love will live forever...

Chorus:
Shower me with your love
Shower me with the love that I long for
Shower me with your love
Shower me with the love I've been waiting for

I close my eyes and pray all my wishes come true
Every nite I go to sleep
Until you're mine, I'll wait for you endlessly
Can't you seeFairy tales, they do

Sometimes come true
If you believe, it
Could happen to you
Like the stars that shine
Way up in the sky
Our love will live forever...

Like the stars that shine
Way up in the sky
Our love will live forever
Live forever...


for all lovers out there... appreciate the one you have next to you eventho he/she may be a little difficult at times. CHEERS!


ciaoz..

I'm Forever Yours... Planetshakers

I'm Forever Yours

I give my all to You
Send me and i will go for You
I'll follow after You
I want the world to know
Your love endures forever

Tell me and i'll obey
This is far greater than sacrifice
Trusting You and not myself
Will always lead to blessing
Lord have Your way in me
Not my will, Yours be done

Here i stand within Your presence
Longing for Your touch
A thousand days cannot compare
with one day in Your courts

Hold me now
And never ever let me go
My Jesus, my precious Savior
I'm forever Yours

I will worship You forever
I will worship You


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This song has really helped me alot along the way. And now it's time I share it with all.
"Trusting Him and not myself will always lead to blessing... " This is one statement that I really need to believe in and to understand for the rest of my life.

Sometimes i still feel the pain, sometimes i feel like i'm getting a heartattack. I know the pain and the lessons i've learnt made me who I am today. I really can't say whether I became someone better but i've certainly learnt and have seen alot. I can dream of fairy tale endings, dream of fantasies but I know that there is a time and place to dream and well the time and place is not now not here. So many questions, so little answers. So many thoughts, yet I'm still clueless. Seeking to find an explaination to everything is pointless and for now is not what I want to do.
No answers I can find that can satisfy me more than Jesus.

Not quitting on what I truly feel deep down but time for me to take a break.

Roller coaster rides i've taken alot.
Time for me to take the ferris wheel for a change.

Joy and Happiness

the joy of seeing others happy is something that i've always enjoyed doing and something that i've always want to do. People always tell me that you need to be happy yourself too but then when i sit down and think of things that will really make me feel happy, well nothing makes me happier than seeing and making people laugh, smile, etc.. just being happy.

I used to enjoy going to shopping complexes, airports, markets, etc. Places with alot alot of people, just to see the many faces, the many lives that God has created. From each face, you can try to write a story about and from each smile and laughter, you can roughly guess why he/she is happy. When dad was at the hospital a few months back, i visited the infant floor a couple of times. Wishing to catch a glimpse of some newborn as well as to catch the look on the faces of expecting parents.. well, if there's a rating to how happy they are based on their facial expression, i think the rating would 11/10... overjoyed.

Another place to be to see happy faces would be at weddings. Well, i've attended quite alot this year and seeing the couples smile and blush at each other while exchanging rings or even giving each other their first kiss as couples is a sight never to be missed. Another time that I saw very happy faces was during CDPC's 8th anniversary 2 weeks ago. The faces of those who have toiled and who have put in so much effort day and night for the success of the anniversary day shows it all on that day itself. It's the face of satisfied joy, fulfilling joy... and accomplished joy.

It's been awhile again since i last wrote here. and well, the title for this post will be none other than.... "Joy and happiness". Not something new, but it's something everyone cannot get enough of. I for one enjoy being happy, enjoy spreading and receiving joy... if i have one wish from God, I would ask for unending happiness. I know it's impossible to have that but I would definitely love that very much.

being happy is not just about smiling and laughing... it's about true inner joy.

do you want to be happy today? well... i want to.

CDPC 8th Anniversary

Happy Birthday CDPC.... (City Discipleship Presbyterian Church)

was indeed tiring today but enjoyed totally. Reached home about 8am from work this morning. Cant help but to just fall on my bed to catch a short nap which lasted till about 9am then rushed off to church. Was suppose to be there by 830am though. Once in church, went to set up the PA systems and went up and down to help out as well. Once service started everyone was already very hyped up by the atmosphere. Praise & Worship was fantastic, singing songs from the good old days to the songs written by CDPC members. Reflecting on the many blessings that He has showered upon us. After P&W, sermon was good. Enjoy listening to Peter Rowan, and how he can really bring out God's word in a humorous and yet challenging manner.

In the middle of the sermon, was summoned to the back to change and make up for the drama. All the kids surrounded me asking whether i'm suppose to be a clown and Sean said I was a lau gong gong... Old grandfather. Which was of course correct... played Uncle Bob in a short drama, depicting the many different individuals we have in church and how each and everyone contributed to CDPC and how we appreciated and are grateful to each and everyone; members and friends of CDPC..

After the drama, there was a video presentation done by Sam showing the life of CDPC for the past year. After the service, everyone went downstairs for a carnival and we had loads and loads of fun. YongYi and gang led the live band and the crowd cheered through out the presentations of songs. Food was more than enough to feed hundreds of people. Games were very well planned and kids enjoyed them thoroughly. Played some games myself too. Played table-tennis with some pros too. Discovered that CDPC has lots and lots of great table-tennis players. Cant tell from their every Sunday look. hahaha. Hannah Yeoh stopped by too and was very quickly pulled into conversations by pastors. Overall I would say that the event/carnival was a very successful one. I enjoyed very much.

Got home at about 3, went online, did some personal stuffs and went to bed about 4pm. Slept till about 8pm. Had dinner, surfed net a little more and decided to go out have a drink with Jia Wei and Kar heng. Enjoyed their company. After yum cha, it was about 12am already. Went home played a game of literati. Chat with some old and new friends and decided to leave house at about 1am.

Well, that was how my day went by. Come to think of it. I really do have a superbly packed weekend. Talk about being tired. hahaha

have a feeling that i'll have a rough week this week. Not too sure why, but no matter what I'll go through, I'll always remember that even the storm, the winds and the waves listen to the One who've created them and I believe in Him.

good nite y'all. All sane and perfectly normal people should be sleeping now already. But me? hahaha.. working lah...

orite, signing off.

ciaoz.

forgotten about you...

another post with the similar name.

well, the reason why i started blogging was because there was an emptiness, a void in my life, previously occupied by a girl of my dreams. Stopped blogging awhile not because the void has been filled but because my time has been occupied with other things. Part of me wants to rest and the other part wants to just go on and on working and doing other things. I enjoy strecthing myself to the limit. Putting my physical self to the very extreme, learning very much to grow my spiritual self and letting my emotional self rest awhile and not do anything.

Really want a break but then again just do not feel like having a break. Love planning things in advance but nowadays things I do are so ad-hoc I begin to love doing things ad-hocly, unplanned, last minute. Not too good I know but then it shows how flexible i can be. I can have the luxury not to work late, not to work weekends but sometimes, I feel I need to especially overnight jobs. I can learn so much just being alone in the office. I enjoy the drive to work at late nights, no cars, no lights. Seems like a drive to nowhere but yet trusting and knowing that I'll be somewhere.

Sometimes I really don't know who i'll be and what i'll do if it's not for God. I'm not a very spiritual, religous kind of person but i'm a very relationship kinda person. When i get commited to a relationship, I know I want the best for that person and I think that's how I treat my relationship with God. I want to my very best to please Him, to bring glory to His name. I know i'm not made perfect and yet I know that i'm made according to His image, how wrong can that be?

I googled my name... and this is what i've found

Joe
Origin: Hebrew
Meaning: May Jehovah add/give/increase

indeed Has given me so much, He has added so much in my life and every day He increases my portion. I hope whatever that I have I can really share it with everyone. I hope the name Joe does not just stop at the part where I get all that Jehovah gives but I want to be a channel of blessing to others too. What more can I ask, if i really do have a chance to talk to God face to face. I think I will ask Him to add to me humour and ever lasting crappiness. If there's one way that I can win the world for Christ, I would choose to win the world by being a joy bringer. Suddenly i remember a song I used to sing when I was in Australia... it's by planetshakers and it goes like this..

REFLECTOR
Since i've found your love
I've never needed anything to fill my heart
Even when i fall
You're always there with open arms to pick me up

From the start i knew
No one else could make me feel the way you do
Everyday i want to grow
Just a little bit closer, just a little bit closer

I want to be a reflector
I want to shine with your glory
I want to let the whole world know that you're
Living in me

I want to burn with your fire
Shine my light a little brighter
I want to let the whole world know that
Jesus Lives in me

What a privilege it will be to be a reflector of Christ. That's what I want to be and that's what I'll strive to be.

How time flies, it's July already. Suddenly I feel the reality of life. Everyday passes me by and I feel i did not do enough for that particular day. Someone told me today that no time is wasted time. For it is from what we've been thru and what we've learned that makes us who we are today. Well couldnt say it better myself.

I would like to do a survey one day, send out a questionaire to 100 friends and see what they say about me. hahaha. Hopefully most of them would say I'm a joy bringer more than a sorrow bringer. Well, then again.. sometimes it's not what others say that matter. Even if the whole world thinks i'm crazy, i'm not good enough... as long as my family, my close friends knows i've done my best and i'm who i am, that's satisfying enough and I think that matters more to me than whatever global recognition that I will ever receive one day.

443am right now. Hopefully everything is smooth at work. I should be able to leave by 6am, go home sleep awhile and go church bout 8+ to help out.

CDPC is 8 years old today. Enjoyed growing with CDPC and hopefully I can contribute for many more 8 years to come.

signing off...
ciaoz..

forgotten about you...

hahaha.. my blog lah.. who else?

wow, totally forgotten i have a blog. Must be too caught up with everything that has happened. Work was quite crazy, preparing for wedding was quite crazy too but the results and the outcome was satisfying enough and I do hope Aaron and Joyce really enjoy themselves yesterday. Hmm.. where should i start...

let's go back to friday...
well, got to work about 8+. Nothing much to do at work coz I was actually asked to attend a meeting at KLCC 29th floor, Microsoft office. After entering the office, I now know what an office should really be like. Colors everywhere, cafe, nasi lemak, sofa, Xbox?, hahaha... now that's working with an attitude. how I wish my office was like that.. after meeting, makaned at Wisma Central which is becoming quite popular in my lunch place list when i'm in KL. After makaned, dissapeared around 3pm. Supposed to help out in the decoration and stuffs but was a little sick so decided to have a short nap. Dinner was superb that night coz we had a Koinonia reunion. Makaned at Jo's Restaurant. Well, actually I opened it wan, din tell everyone only. Hahahha. Just kidding.

dinner was cut short coz we have to run through the wedding rehearsal and we needed it to end early coz the next day was the big day already. So rehearsal was smooth and we ended about 10pm. After that, mamak with the guys. hmm.. which really makes me think. Back in melbourne, definitely there's someone carrying a camera wherever we went, that explains the 10000's of photos I have from Melbourne. I'm going to start of that trend again. Capturing all the wonderful moments I have with all my pals and uploading them all to facebook. Abit dissapointed/sad coz the photos for the past 3 years mostly were taken with her and of course posting it in facebook would make her angry I guess.. well, so have to take more photos from now on.. hahaha

saturday was an extreme day for me...
started out at about 8am... got to church, opened the doors, etc. Turn on the music and just chilled till about 815am when the florists brought fresh flowers for deco. Lepak there till about 930am then ppl started coming. Every single wedding in church either prior to or during, sure one song will be played and it has brings back lots and lots of memories when I'm with her. Steven Curtis Chapman's I will be here... nice song, super lovely type.. hahaha. Anyway, after that the people started coming in and things get more and more heavy on me but it was fun. Especially when Uncle Thea keeps smiling non-stop. I'm sure he's super happy coz he smiled from 10am till 10pm. Hahaha. The ceremony was good. I was super nervous being the emcee and also thinking what was left out the whole time. Every single minute I was asking God for more grace and wisdom to plan and to remember.. Thank God He was there all the time. After the ceremony, went over to Aaron's to pick up some beer and wine to be brought over to Tai Thong. Thank God for Anthony's storm, we can put all of it in one go. Reached tai thong and after unloading, it rained cats and dogs.. hahaha super funny putting that in a sentence. Anyway, again it was all God's timing. Not letting it rain a few minutes earlier or else all the wine and beer will be wet. After the transporting, went home and was dead tired... after showering, collapsed on my bed and slept for about 45 minutes. Dreamt a sweet dream too... hahaha duwan to share.
Was awaken by an sms by Kelvin and then I rushed to change and drove out to pick him up. We got to the restaurant about 530pm and the cham cha session has already begun. Kelvin started video-ing and I went to look for the restaurant manager to get him to arrange seatings, songs for walking in, vegetarian meals, baby-chairs, wine pouring, sequence of events... etc. Wow, lots of things to plan ok for wedding. I think God is preparing me to throw a superb wedding celebration for my own in the future. hahaha. Not too sure how long more lah.. all in His time.

during the entire dinner, I think my table (all ex-Seafieldians) were the noisiest and craziest but it was so good catching up with all of them. We drank almost one carton of beer and was half cuckoo already by the end of the dinner. Dinner ended about 11+pm and everyone wanted to go karaoke which is just 1 floor up. The gang went up to get a room first while I was packing up and making sure everything was done properly at the end. Went up 10 mins later and not knowing which room they were in, told the receptionist that there was big crowd who just came up and the waiter brought me from room to room and I was laughing all the way coz it was all the wrong room. Decided to call jiawei and to my surprised, they were all downstairs waiting for me... argh!! hahaha.

we went over K3K benta kaya for supper to wait till 12am coz neway a little cheaper after 12. Had a crazy time crossing the road and CheeWai was already more than half cuckoo... hahaha. Enjoyed the brief coffee session at K3K and proceeded to Karaoke there after.

Went in and immediately wanted to sleep coz the sight of the comfy sofa was too captivating.. hahaha. but ended up singing almost all the songs coz somehow karaoke songs are very suitable for heartbroken people... songs like... All by myself, Unbreak my heart, Feelings, quit playing games with my heart, Yesterday, etc.. hahaha.. Enjoyed the singing session. Really crazy people but enjoyed thoroughly. Played dice with Alle and made her drink alot.. muahahaha that's classic man.

after karaoke, headed over to jiawei's for football match between holland and russia which of course Russia won... stupid. Now i have to pay for JiaWei's futsal next tuesday. Hahaha. Anyway, everyone was sleeping and not watching so after half time we all decided to go home. KarHeng was way past drunk. Hahaha. Came home about 4+. After changing, washing up, etc... collapsed once more on my bed with lots and lots of happy thoughts. Thanked God for the entired day and told Him my heart's desire and trusting that somehow someway He knows what's best.

Woke up about 1030 this morning and skipped church... super malas. hahaha

went over to YongYi's at about 1pm for worship team gathering and laughed and laughed at games played and was real encouraged by the sharing of the new members who joined. Gathering ended at about 3pm and I came home to sleep again after that... i've been really sleeping alot nowadays i mean after noon naps where I used to tell Leng that long noon naps are no good... hahaha now i'm eating my own words.. kakaka... well, I love sleeping nowadays coz when things in reality are not really what you want sometimes, all you need to do is to sleep and dream and hopefully you manage to dream the dream you wanna dream... understand??

well, a long post to compensate the missing posts for the past few days...

signing off with tiredness but full of joy...

ciaoz.

sleepy at work..

came in work around 10pm.. went for a drink with my colleagues till about 11pm, went up to 23rd floor to meet up with the users i'm supporting. Waited till about 12am for some processes to complete and went out for a drink again.. just got back and here I am blogging at 8th floor. hahaha...

very very sleepy already... another 8 hours to go before I can go home... hopefully all works well and no problem at all. Found myself a PC with full internet access. hahaha can play any games I like while standing by.

orite.. goin to check out what else I can do before going back to 23rd to support the users.

ciaoz...

all in a day's work...

got up at 6am today.. left house before 7 to reach office bout 8am. Stucked in jam for more than an hour. Thank God i don't work in KL all the time. Big problem this morning but luckily solved before the any major issues happened. Tons of big bosses staring and breathing down my neck while problem was being solved. Thank God it was solved. Phew... hahaha

super tired today. Left KL at about 2pm and got to office bout 245pm after stopping by at Dunkin Doughnuts to get my colleagues some makanan after their hard labour everyday. Got some terrible accident happened right in front of my office. Car skidded off the road, knocked down 4 small trees then flew on the lamp post and knocked it down.. driver was unhurt.

left work at about 930pm.. system all okay but application has some issues. Hopefully all okay tomorrow. Going 2 sleep now. Mind can't really think properly already. Haha

alrite..

g'nite
ciaoz.

end of yet another weekend... kan cheong

hahaha..
dunno why suddenly abit kancheong for A&J's wedding. Thinking of whether I forget anything.. hmm.. hopefully and prayerfully all works out fine. 3rd time being wedding coordinator but this time more kan cheong. Got a checklist of things to do but need a checklist for my checklist. Hahaha coz i'm thinking whether or not i've left out things in my checklist.

gonna be busy for this entire week. Work, wedding, etc. Good practise for time management. Cant wait for saturday. Super happy for them and I know they are much more happier. Hahaha. Good good..

going to sleep already. Need all the rest I can get. Need to work in KL this week so I need to wake up extra earlier to beat the jam.

well, that's all. I had a great week followed by a fun weekend. Can't ask for anything better.

have a good week ahead y'all... I know I will..

ciaoz.

2 more to go..

just came home from Sunny's and Sue Huei's wedding. Quite a grand one at Westin. Food pretty alright and live band was good. The lead singer for the live band was real pretty and she was just in front of us cause my table was in front of the stage. Guess she's somewhere my age. If I was 5 years younger, i might have taken the move to talk to her. Somehow I just feel so tired just smiled at her when I was leaving and she smiled back. Cool huh? hahaha

sighs...

clueless... directionless... was lost in KL just now.. but somehow got to the correct road. Saw lots of people having fun near the clubs areas... laughing and jumping around in the street.. what's their motivation? what's their drive? hmm... just plain ol' alcohol? or more than that..

well... don't intend to be as crazy as them. Just want to be who He has made me to be. Even if many people hates me for who I am, as long as He thinks I'm ok.. i'm satisfied.


good nite y'all..
headache maximum..

ciaoz.

my weekend..

got home about 5 this morning. Woke up bout 9am. Strangely enough, can't sleep already. Maybe i'll feel sleepy in French class later. hahaha.

got to work bout 11+ last night and was told that the real work only starts at 8+ this morning. Sat and talked with my colleague till about 2am and left office to join CheeWai for the Holland France match which proved to be worth watching. 5 goals. Holland needless to say, trashing France 4-1. Well, my prediction was 3-0 so I was quite close right? hahaha.

well, everyone's still asleep right now. Parents are awake, reading the newspaper. bro and sis(s) all still tiduring. Now who went to work at night? hahaha. Attending yet another wedding tonight. Opportunity to learn how to throw a good wedding ceremony in the future. Muahaha.

what to do ar? thinking of going out but it's already 11am. Don't want to be too rush for my french class later. Maybe a game of yahoo pool? or some quick CS shooting? still thinking. Too lazy to do other things. Anyway I'm suppose to rest on the weekends right?

oritey... guess i'll really go do something.

ciaoz..

being a witness....

home..

witnessed a marriage just now.. as in was a witness to a marriage registration just now. hehehe. signed someone away. muahaha.

somehow i was abit kan cheong while signing. Scared sign wrongly, pen no ink half way, etc. glad everything was alright. Glad i was a witness. First time... so anyone else want to find witness? hahaha. Real joyous occasion though it was just for like 30mins. really an honour to be there. Now they are officially married!! hahaha.

orite.. really have to go sleep for awhile. Nite and day somehow got mixed up a little in my bio clock. Next week gonna be worse. Have to be healthy, cant afford to fall sick for the next couple of weeks. Sick oso have to work!..

tiduring in ...
3
2
1

ZZZzzzzzzZzzzzzzzz

project launch...

got home about 1am this morning. After taking a bath, sat downstairs while savoring my tofu and salted vege soup, I watched the game played between Croatia and Germany. First game my prediction was wrong. Sighs. Now my pool abit cacat already. Hopefully Croatia lose the next game and Germany wins the next game. Hahaha.

did not watched the whole game as I was just too too exhausted after a long day of work. Today will be better. Leaving office at about 1pm later to go for A&J's marriage registration. Hopefully nothing goes wrong in office or else, they cant get married and I'll be the cause. hahaha. nolar just kidding. Even if servers crash, storage crash, I'll still go!! privillege man. First time being a witness to a marriage. Cool...

gonna be busy the next couple of weeks.. need sharp mind. Can't screw things up at this time...
back to work.

yay... project launch today...
please.. no problem!!!

ciaoz.

=)

finally....

finally, the pool has been won. Unfortunately i knew i had no chance after 25 minutes of the game. Hahaha. Poor John, honey on the lips but yet to savour the sweetness. Hahaha.

had a good time chatting with a very good friend last night. Worries are written on his forehead. Hopefully he'll feel much better today. Decided to spend at least a day per week with good friends to either catch up or just be there for them. Must always remember not too give advise when I'm not asked to. Lead to too many problems after that. hahaha

today's thursday... hmm what am I going to do tonight? that is if I get off from work early. Or else i'll just stay at home, laze around till 12 to catch the game between Germany and Croatia. Hahaha. Euro fever starting to pick up already. After this, Olympics!!! yea.. should take leave to watch at home lah.


better go start work. tons of problems already. Just been told, have to work late tonight.
Great.


ciaoz
=)

earliest to work... yayy..

in office earliest.. hahaha

slept extremely well yesterday after a long and tiring game of futsal. Must say that this is the best sleep i've gotten for a long long time. Legs still hurting, sprained my right hand a little. Thanks to the keeper session for a game. Forgotten to apply some medicine, still aching..

no one got the score right again today. It's Spain 4-1 Russia hahaha.. looks like it's gonna roll over to another day again..

gonna go download some latest patches now. It's patching day again. Strange thing that we have to manually download the patch every month.

when is June going to be over? hahaha. I like being busy but this project is killing. Never knowing what's going to happen next. Super unpredictable... like life only.

orite. better get started with work. Don't want to stay here till 10pm.
good morning!!!

ciaoz.
=)

Beautiful Morning...

hahaha... slept at 11pm last night so did not post anything.woke up a couple of times but missed the match between holland and italy... no one guessed it right cause Holland was in a class of it's own. Dull game between France and Romania. Hahaha so far so good. My prediction for the entire Euro still correct. Hehehe...

Woke up at the right side of bed today. Actually i really did. Hahaha. But well, real happy today. Looking forward for lots of jobs today. then again.. cant wait for June to be over. Lots of unwanted problems happening here and there with the current project and some relationships turning sour amongst colleauges due to these problems. Hope everything will be back to normal once this project is done and over with. Futsal is on tonight. Can't wait to score some goals.

had a fun time at my PBE class last night. Really felt like a kid there. Hahaha. Had a good time at gym too thereafter. really have to spend more time there to justify the monthly fees i'm paying for. Have not attended any classes before. Maybe I should join taichi class. hahaha.

orite.. more people in already. Have to start work. Phone calls are also coming in already.

to all... Good Morning and May the good Lord bless you and keep you safe always!!!

ciaoz
=)

tiredness... end of weekend.

Slept from 2pm till about 5pm today..

somehow that's becoming a routine on Sunday. Must be accumulated tiredness from the entire week.

without realizing it, it's already half way past year 2008. Been an incredible year so far. Good times, bad times.. you name it I got it. But through it all, God has been good and has always been there to see my through thick and thin. Not too sure what the other half of the year has for me but will surely be patient enough to wait and see as days unfold by itself.

had a nice time planning and discussing for A&J's wedding. Being a wedding coordinator is quite cool after all. I think this is the 3rd wedding i'm coordinating. Building up an impressive resume. hahaha. If ever public bank has no use of my service already then i'll start my own wedding planners company. Got the slogan already... "The journey of love begins here..." hahaha..

discount for all who know me. For those who don't, depends lah.. if you can tell me why you want to marry your wife/husband with a good enough reason then 10% discount up front. Cool eh?

ok lah.. i'm going off already. Thinking of just reading some books till I fall asleep.

good night all and be ready for the week ahead, don't be a victim to the Blue Monday!! hahaha

ciaoz
=P

1 down.. 3 to go.

yupp.. 3 more weddings for the next 3 weeks.

enjoy attending weddings cause it gives you ideas of how yours should be... but if you're at the age where, why another wedding? but not mine? then it's a little not too enjoyable to be at a wedding.. =)

well, was at church for almost the whole day from wedding ceremony to saturday service... then rushed off to Hyatt where for the first time, do not need to wait for the food to be served cause we practically arrived at the time the first dish was about to be served. Hahaha.

must be abit blur yesterday cause I thought I did write about it and I did update my blog but well, hehehe.. maybe blogged in my dreams though. Pastor said something real cool yesterday that on average humans dream 2 hours a night. Well, I think I did and I'm pretty sure it was more than 2 hours yesterday. Seems like an entire life was flashed before eyes. Hahaha. It was like the movie Scrooge where you actually see yourself in the 'movie'. Well, dreams are what made some of the most successful people in the world today. My ambition.. to be a dreamer. hahaha

alright, need to go make up to prepare for church. Just realized I need to say opening prayer for A&J's wedding... panic nya...

have a nice Sunday.. get all the rest you need before facing a new challenging week ahead..

adios..

ciaoz..
=)

game in progress.... =)

muahahaha... while waiting..

muahaha

when's my turn? =)

another week...

end of the week...time flies by really so quickly..

have not practise for PBE class yet. Sure gonna kena marah by teacher. Haha.
next week gonna be quite busy. Testing period for new servers and systems. Hopefully all's well.. next next week will be the ultimate test of all. Live date. Going to be on standby 24 hours. Must work on shift. Will be working at night for 3 nights from 10pm to 9am. Hopefully nothing goes wrong so can tidur awhile.. hahaha

had quite a good day today. Enjoyed my work. Got pretty lots of stuffs done today. Hopefully i'll get no calls this weekend. Gonna be busy too this weekend. Helping out in a wedding later and thereafter gonna be on duty for PA followed by the wedding dinner. Just gonna enjoy the makan, the programme, share the happiness and just be happy.

Very tired and sleepy now but in the middle of a game. Addicted to Literati recently and have been playing almost every night with cellies. Quite a challenging game and also a good time to catch up with them.

at the end of a week... as I reflect on the things i've learnt and the things i've yet to achieve... sure lots of areas to improve. Really need to reduce my ego and really start becoming a patient and ever ready to learn from others kinda person...

need humility.

must concentrate on my game.. or else i'll lose.
must win..
hahaha


ciaoz. =P

blogging for a reason..

before i start writing.. i'm going to laugh... hahahaha..
ok i'm being sarcastic... but well haha just being me.

today was good, had zhong for breakfast, mum made. Delicious.. yummy.
got to work one of the earliest and got my favourite parking space. Conversation topic for today is all about fuel price hike. Did a simple calculation and realized i'm going to unnecesarily spend almost 300bux more on petrol. Thanks to some people who are not running the show well enough.

had milo and biscuits for lunch coz was abit lazy to go out for lunch and was quite full too. Aircon was quite strong today. I think it was like 19degrees but felt more like 16. Ended work about 7pm, not too bad. Took a slow drive home and had chap fan for dinner. After dinner, continue reading my book for awhile before heading to the gym where I saw my big boss. Said hie and turned away quickly. Hahaha

Renewed my gym for another 2 years. Have not been utilizing it fully so going to make my money well spend this time around. Came home, surfed net. Answered a couple of mails and a couple of msn messages and had a nice chat with a good friend who gave me some pointers here and there and also some good and some not so good advises. hahaha juz kidding. Anyway, thank you for your time. Appreciate your advise. Will listen to it.

before i sign off... some comic to entertain y'all. Took it form Alicia's(cdpc) mail. Haha.. enjoy..

End of yet another day. Going to sleep now.

Good Nite.

ciaoz. =)

roller coaster ride...

i always wonder how it feels like to have extreme ups and extreme downs in life.

for the past couple of weeks I really felt the ups and downs and was at quite an extreme down level last night. Almost brought me back to where I started. But after a long conversation with God, I felt so much better this morning. It was a big relief.

decided to really really put everything down for awhile to concentrate on my work and to spend more time with my family and friends. Going to be busy for the next couple of months with projects, weddings to attend, church camp, etc. Can really see that I'll definitely learn lots of new things and will most certainly meet lots of new faces and make new friends. Something really good is definitely gonna come out of this.

something i've managed to catch for the past few days would be the word "adaptability". Sometimes when we are throwned to a completely foreign situation, we panic, we lose direction, we cry out. But after awhile, we somehow get used to it and we managed to adapt. So I would say I'm going through an adaptability phase. Well, everyday there's sure to be new challenges awaiting us so I really do not intend to dwell in past problems anymore so that I can really move on to face bigger challenges in life.

world inflation sure to happen. Economy crisis predicted to happen soon too. Well, better be ready. Must really learn how to live below means.. Can still enjoy life but not luxurious life lah.

2mr marks the highest one-time increase for petrol in malaysian history. Lots of people will feel it and definitely there'll be a ripple effect to other things as well.. rice, flour, eggs, bread.. etc

muz eat bread already... hahaha eat Jusco bread. muahaha

k lah..

nite y'all..
going out to see people line up at petrol station.. hehehe jk.


a comic for all.



ciaoz.

proper closure to a beautiful journey.

what will be the single most difficult decision you have to make in life. Well, I just made one this morning and I'm not going to regret it cause i prayed the whole night and He gave me all the courage and bravery in the world to make the decision.

Lots to write, don't know where to start..

well..Enjoy this beautiful day knowing that He has made it beautiful for you and I. Trusting God is not an easy thing to do, not because He is not trustworthy but because I have to admit I'm a person with little faith. Over the pass few weeks, i've learnt how to really depend on Him. Boss say don't pray for a challenge cause you will regret it. Well, I think I understand what that means.

amazing journey I had, will never ever trade it with anything.
Thank you Lord for the experience. Made me realize I'm not too bad after all.

Dear Lord,
When I'm weak, You're strong.
When I'm lost, You're my guide.
When I'm afraid, You're my refuge
When I'm helpless, You're my help.
When I'm doubtful and dumbfounded, You're the answer.

Everyday I need to be reminded that indeed I know not what tomorrow holds but I know who holds tomorrow.

The joy of the Lord is my strength. I'm claiming it for my life too.

Amen.

dad's birthday...

work was good today...

got tied down with quite alot of thinking work to do so it was good. Used my brain juice rightly. hahaha. I think nearing the mega project, work is definitely picking up speed. More work coming my way and I'm loving it. Everything went smoothly today till I was about to leave about 6pm and 3 servers came crashing down at the same time. Strange but true. No virus, no power trip, no hardware malfunction. Gave a call to Microsoft China to open a critical A case and got almost immediate response. Stayed on till about 7pm and have to leave to celebrate dad's birthday. Colleague took over and am grateful.

Makaned near ruby theatre, restaurant called Lucky Seafood. Food was not bad. Highly recommended by Granddad. Makaned about 7 dishes and was quite full. Came home makaned cake and gave dad his birthday present. An antic looking mechanical watch from Germany. I think he likes it. Phew, not everyday I managed to get a present that the recipient likes.. hehehe. Thank God. Glad I share the same view with dad on how God is ever present in our lives and how we can always trust Him to provide for us in whatever situation we may be in. My prayer is that God would continue to bless my dad with good health and grant him his heart's desires. I trust that He indeed will do so.

After makaned, Richard came over for an interview on education. Glad we could all help him. Enjoyed the interview session and also some photography session. Guess I'm going to be a star... hahaha.. jk..

Another day passed me by. End result today.... HAPPY.

gonna really be happy and joyful everyday. Doesnt matter if i'm labelled as a joker or a clown. As long as I bring happiness.. true happiness to all, I'll be super happy too.

if ever I get to choose how I live my life. I think i'll decide on the same route. Of course slight improvements here and there but still pretty satisfied with everything I've achieved. Looking forward to more happy times ahead and honestly I've learnt so much for the past couple of months. Wouldnt want to trade them away for anythig.

Dear Lord,
Thank You so much for everything that You blessed me with.
My achievements today speaks of Your ever abiding grace and Your countless blessings.
I do not know what tomorrow holds but I'm most certainly glad that I know You who holds tomorrow.

Amen.

nite y'all...

We know not what tomorrow brings ...

We know not what tomorrow brings ...
Although we plan ahead For only God alone can know ... the pathway we must tread.
We cannot know the future ...
not one minute nor one hour Each circumstance that we must face ... lay only in His power.
It's vital that we live by faith ...
from minute unto minute And trusting that each step we take ... He's walking with us in it.
We cannot see the future ...
nor the trials we must face But in all things, God promised us ... sufficiency of grace.
This alone should give us hope ...
whatever be our plans In knowing that our future lies ... in His sweet, loving hands.

-Betty Purser Patten

thanks wee lee... somehow I needed it today.

Good morning America... oops Malaysia i mean.

sunday flew by like it was just a few hours.

did lotsa things yesterday.. from sleeping at 3am after drinking session to waking up at 10am, spent sometime at home before proceeding to church at about 12pm.. did lots of planning for Church camp. Enjoyed the discussion session, lots of laughter and lots of evil smiles thinking of how people will suffer... hahaha i meant enjoy. Need to finalize the team building events and also the talent night activity. After the activity, had lunch with Boss and then on the way home bought some Yim Kuk kai for Leng's family. Got to see her awhile to pick up my chocolate from langkawi too. And when I mean awhile it's like thanks, bye. Hahaha. but it's enough lah. Got to see her and it's like.. wah.. yayy.. hahaha. Like small boy seeing magnum ice cream for the first time.

went home and slept from 330 to 730. Something went wrong somewhere in my head I guess. Woke up super blur. hahaha. ate some "got taste rice" for dinner then went to pyramid to shop for dad's birthday present. I think there's a huge difference how a guy shops and how a girl shops. I just go into a shop, see the item I want, go to the counter, pay and cabut. hahaha. Bought a few shirts for myself too. Thought I took a long time but ended up only spending about an hour in pyramid. Went home thereafter, went online and chat with friends. Then after that Literati... hahaha

enjoyed talking with Counselor Ling and BoonYee. Shared and also got lots of advises. Really am privilleged and honored to have people who cares so much, who gives me encouragements freely.

well, that was how my Sunday went by. Today's Monday. First working day of the week. Must start the week with happiness and joyfulness, excitement and lesser expectation. Must be less demanding, and easily satisfied. This way, I can be a happier person.

have a good day y'all..

ciaoz..

something different for a change...

without realizing it, it's already June.

had a busy day today... slept about 4am this morning after playing 2 rounds of literati which of course I won.. hahaha. Got up about 9am and at about 10am went out for a drink with a friend who needs some assistance for his cover story. Enjoyed the cathing up session and I think I really can be of use to more people nowadays and I enjoy being able to help. After minum, got home and decided to take a short nap before my French class. Learnt alot at French class and really had a good time laughing with pronounciation and phrases. Hopefuly one day when I go over to France, people will be able to understand me.

After French, went over to church cause I was on duty as PA. Learnt a new song that really ministered to me. A song called "Yesus Kekuatanku" written by an indonesian band. Although there were just a small group at church today, but I know God was there in our midst. After church, came home changed and decided to YouTube the band and listen to the song again. Brought me to tears but I enjoyed being ministered. Left house at about 9pm for a drinking session with Aaron and some of my schoolmates. Really enjoyed just drinking and talking just about anything. Friends have been encouraging knowing what I went through and I must say that some of these friends barely know me although we know each other for years, yet they do care. Spent some time talking with a friend who is also going thru a somewhat similar situation but I would think he had it worst than me. Offered some advise and also offered to listen. Going to make it a commitment to be there for him and also to commit my next week to pray for him.

Wanted really to see her today but i know it's not possible. Again, prayed about it and the feeling slowly subside. Wonder how long this feelng will last. Selfishly, I do not want it to end but then again, not up to me to think but up to God to plan for me.

Glad Aaron and Joyce are getting married. Seeing people I know get married really makes me so happy cause i get to witness 2 people being in love, making a commitment to spend the rest of their lives together. I know one day I would have that day too.. but again, not going to think too much on it.

Supposed to be half drunk but once I on my PC, I'm super awake again. Johnnie Walker and tequila burning my throat and stomach but head still very clear. Guess i'm going to lose my voice tomorrow or should I say later.

Just an advise to all that there are bound to be problems in everyone's life. It's a matter of choice whether to overcome it or to linger on at the same place. I chose to overcome and seriously sometimes I still linger on but knowing that God is there pulling me through gives me great encouragement to overcome.

going to just chill a little and to just be who He wants me to be. Whatever comes my way, let it come and i'll gladly take on whatever He has planned for me. Easy to say but difficult to implement. Need grace, more grace..... I know He will provide.


nite y'all.

ciaoz.

cell nite...

Friday is here again. Week passed by very fast this week. Growing old by the minute. Hahaha.
Anyway, glad the weekend is here. Tomorrow going to just relax and rest at home for the morning then it'll be packed with programmes from 12pm onwards. Next week should be the week everyone starts running around at work. Mega project about to begin in 2 weeks time. Hopefully all will be smooth and good.

hmm, shed some weight recently. Feeling real good about myself, hoping to maintain my weight so i'll need to watch my eating habit. hahaha. Only eat good food for a change. Good as in nutritious and healthy. Must cut down on my spare parts makaning habit. Once in a blue moon should be fine I guess. Hahaha.

Ate some real nice durians just now. Hoping to find some superb ones to really satisfy the durian addiction. Maybe I'll wait a couple of weeks for the Pahang durian to arrive. Hmm... lots of events happening soon. Weddings, parties, dinners, minums, etc. Hopefully I wont be tired after work everyday cause work gonna be like from 8am to 10pm almost every night once the project is launched. Need strength. Extra human strength.

well, after all said... really had a good week of working and catching up with friends. Enjoyed thoroughly, though tired. Looking for more good times ahead but if there are bad times, I'll also be strong to overcome them in His name.

ciaoz.

thurs nite.. a good day.

Work was quite cool today... enjoyed solving problems and enjoyed laughing around with my colleagues. You must be wondering what job i'm doing, laughing everyday. Hahaha..

after work, came home makaned dinner and fell asleep. Must be tired from the countless late nights. Woke up bout 9pm, bathed and watched tv awhile then came online. Watched some music videos from YouTube on True worshippers and Franky Sihombing. People from all nations, all tongues glorifying God in their own languages and in their own ways. Truly amazed by the work of God in the world.

looking forward to this weekend. Really just want to enjoy rest for a change. Have been so caught up with everything that has happened till I've forgotten how to really rest. God is so thoughtful that He even created rest days for us. Seriously, taking everyday by itself is so so much easier than making countless plans for my future. Gonna enjoy this process of being cared for and taken care of.

going to play CS for awhile before hitting the sack again...

nite y'all...
God bless you!!

late post... =)

work was good yesterday...

first half of the day was like the good old days.. lots of calls and lots of problems but managable and solvable. Hahaha. 2nd half of day work slowed down a little and had time to catch up with some of my own R&D work.

After work, got home.. makaned then went to gym till about 10+. Went home, changed then went to GT to find John and Simon for drinking session. Drinking teh tarik that is. hahaha. Enjoyed chatting with the married Simon. Giving info and guides on how to understand what a girl wants. Hmm, I think I can clearly see that he eat salt more than I eat rice. Hahaha. But greatly enlightened. Simple facts that I needed to know about yet did not practise. Well, not too late cause I'm still young, lots more time to put into practise.

wanted to blog last night but decided to put myself to bed earlier than usual which is like still about 1am. Cant really sleep so enjoyed a nice chat with Him before really sleeping.

having a nice start to the day right now. Will continue to be positive and enjoy every minute that He has blessed me with.

have a nice day y'all

human after all...

had quite an alright day... joking and laughing throughout..
work was as usual.. pretty slow.

hate it.. hopefully again tomorrow will be better.

futsal was good. Very tired but somehow I needed it. Twisted my ankle but somehow I needed it. Need to feel pain. Need to realize i'm human after all. On the way back, my heart stopped pumping awhile, reality sinks in again. Realize everything is not a dream anymore. Heartache, depressed, needed strength. Seriously without God in my life, I think I would be directionless, purposeless...

came home, had a shower. Sat on my bed and stared into darkness. Prayed and asked God for strength again. Being tough and positive all the time sure is tiring. After awhile, started smiling again. Felt the love of God surrounding me and heard Him saying it's all ok now. Really needed it.

Going to sleep early today. Not knowing what lies ahead sure is not fun but I'm learning how to depend on the creator of today and tomorrow. Used to know so many things in advance, used to plan so many trips and fun times in advance. Used to do so many many things but now I'm just going to take everyday by itself.

no hahahas today.. just a phew.... I survived.

Thank you Lord.

nitez.

boring Monday... happy ending.

real bored at work today... full of semangat to start off the week but work was super slow.
Alot of people on leave and most of the people around were walking around chatting and just waiting for time to pass by. Enjoyed some quick chat with colleagues but times between real real boring. Hopefully tomorrow or should I say later... will be much better.

Had my PBE class at about 830pm. Again, laughed thru out. Enjoyed learning and playing like a kid again. Hahaha. After class went for a drink with University mates. Deakin mates to be exact. 4 of us were there at Murni.. Simon, HanYie, CheeWai and myself. Enjoyed reminiscing the good old times. How we wished we were still in University and we could start all over again. hahaha. Anyway, really enjoyed. Gonna spend more time catching up with them and really be a part of somebody's life, to listen to and just be there for my good friends. Had too much of teh tarik nowadays. Kurang manis is always sweeter than don't say anything. Must be the waiter angry always ask him kurang manis, he tambah manis pulak. hahaha. Must cut down on sugar intake. Really getting crazy nowadays. Smiling and laughing all the time. High on sugar content.

Finally tomorrow night got futsal after postponing for like 3 weeks. Legs itchy already. My bright orange boots hanging there crying out to be worn. Futsal starting at 8pm so no chance to play badminton. Maybe will play on thursday instead. Hmm... thank God I have lots of activities lined up all the way till July. Hopefully by then I'll feel much much better... even much better than before. My goal for this year which is a new goal cause the goals made at the beginning of the year cannot work already..... the goal is to really improve on areas that I've been lacking..

my passion to serve is an area I have to relook at. My commitments to friends and families. My communication skills. My patience level. My skills and abilities be at work or at games. My personal devotion time. My view towards relationships.

all of the above are my new goals... as long as I can fulfill 80% of the above, I consider myself pass. Hahaha

gonna force myself to sleep although I'm not at all sleepy. Need my beauty sleep mah... hahaha

nitez y'all...

weekend coming to an end...

yeap.. enjoyed myself this weekend.

spend most of the time just chilling and doing almost nothing. Rested, recuperated, energized and ever ready for a new week ahead.

sermon today was very timely and very informative I must say. Indeed it's difficult to understand the will of God. Why evil happen to good people? Why innocent people have to die? Why this or that happen to us? So many questions but have we ever thought of it this way.... Why are the stars shinning so brightly every night? Why is the sun producing sunlight for the trees and plants? Why is there oxygen in the air for us to breathe? Why is there night for us to sleep and day for us work? hahaha... when you think of it this way, you'll understand that everything happen based on the sovereignty of God and He alone has full control over nature, humanity and time.

Sometimes we think that God is never around us. He never cares. He allows bad things to happen to us and our loved ones. He did not answer our prayer after years of praying. He may not even bother anymore. But then again.... think again. When we sleep at night. What is keeping the roof from falling down on us? What is keeping our heart pumping with oxygen throughout our body even when we sleep? Who is allowing the sun to shine so brightly every morning? Who gave you the ability and wisdom to work to earn a living? We tend to take all the small little things in life for granted and we tend to highlight certain issue to blame God when all He has been doing is to give and to give..... for He cares.. I for one am guilty too. The book of Job clearly shows us that God made everything the way it is and who are we to question what God is to do next or who are we to ask God to do things the way we want Him to?

I really thank God for creating me the way I am. Sometimes too positive but better positive than negative right? Someone asked me this question.. "Are you sure you just broke up with your girlfriend?" Of course I said.. yah.. and his reply was.. "Dont look like it also." hahaha.. don't know whether it's something good. but yeap... of course there's hurt and pain but the joy I receive from God overcomes all hurt and pain. That's the beauty of having Christ in me. God taught me to be positive in life to prepare myself for more challenges ahead. This may just be a small hurdle in life. If I can't overcome this small hurdle, what more the bigger ones? this may just be the peak of an iceberg. Who knows how big the actual iceberg is? hahaha...

anyway, like i've said earlier.. this weekend has been fabulous. There are times where loneliness fills my heart and soul but it's ok. I need to endure pain to grow. Again... knowing that God is control... sure brings comfort.

maybe i'll call it a day.. tho it's still early
maye I'll just walk around and maybe continue reading my book...

hmm.. hahaha so many maybes...

for me to know and for you to find out then...

nitez..

I know who holds tomorrow

I Know Who Holds Tomorrow

words and music by Ira Stanphill

Verse 1:
I don't know about tomorrow,

I just live from day to day.

I don't borrow from it's sunshine,

For it's skies may turn to gray.

I don't worry o'er the future,

For I know what Jesus said,

And today I'll walk beside Him,

For He knows what is ahead.

Chorus:

Many things about tomorrow,

I don't seem to understand;

But I know Who holds tomorrow,

And I know Who holds my hand.

Verse 2:
Ev'ry step is getting brighter,

As the golden stairs I climb;

Ev'ry burden's getting lighter;

Ev'ry cloud is silver lined.

There the sun is always shining,

There no tear will dim the eyes,

At the ending of the rainbow,

Where the mountains touch the sky.

Chorus:
Many things about tomorrow,

I don't seem to understand;

But I know Who holds tomorrow,

And I know Who holds my hand.

Verse 3:
I don't know about tomorrow,

It may bring me poverty;

But the One Who feeds the sparrow,

Is the One Who stands by me.

And the path that be my portion,

May be through the flame or flood,

But His presence goes before me,

And I'm covered with His blood.

Chorus:
Many things about tomorrow,

I don't seem to understand;

But I know Who holds tomorrow,

And I know Who holds my hand.

back from yum cha session...

just got home after some teh tarik with KarHeng and WengKin..

sure is good catching up with them. Went to pelita for some good ol teh tarik and sup kambing. 2 cups of teh tarik sure is keeping me awake. Hahaha. Glad I have the time now to just enjoy the company of my friends. Going to call more of my friends out to catch up with them. Hopefully they wont feel angry cause I only call them out after I broke up. Hahaha. Time will change their mindset. Muahaha.

Glad another day is over. Did not manage to do much but able to spend time with 2 of my best buddies sure is good. In a phase of life where the conversation topic would be, How's work?, where you plan to go for holiday this year? when you getting married? when plan to change car? when plan to buy house? hahaha. talks like these were considered quite uncle a few years back but now it's the only thing we talk about. Anyway, its a phase everyone needs to go through.

On the way back from WengKin's house just awhile ago, the CD was playing "Your eye is on the sparrow". Beautiful song reminding me again that even the sparrows in the sky are being cared for by God. What more we as His ultimate creation?... Thank You Lord again for the reminder. Will never forget that You are always there and will always be there for me.

Enjoyed the drive back, drove super slowly.. and took the fast lane. Hahaha. Lucky not much cars. Passed by SS19, said a simple prayer for Leng. Somehow I feel that there's nothing to worry about anymore. God is in control. Whatever happens, let it happen.. I can plan and plan but no plans are higher than His plans. So be it. I'll gladly accept whatever that is given to me.

thanksgiving item tonight...

Friends.. for always always being there. Though I gave so little time to them, they are readily available for me all the time. This I have to learn.

hmm...a time when this side of the world is sleeping... so quiet, all I can hear is the aircon blowing, loneliness is the feeling I'm suppose to feel but nope.. not now. For I feel I'm surrounded by people who love me for who I am not for who they want me to be. Glad..... smiling like a crazy man, staring at the computer screen... hahaha

nitez y'all...

saturday afternoon..

doing absolutely nothing..

really have not been doing nothing for a long time. hahaha.
well i'm surfing, blogging, and not even chatting.

just enjoying the aircon in my computer room, picking up random calls from office.

life slows down a little when I have almost nothing to do. Used to enjoy watching dvds on saturday afternoon but I hardly even sit and watch a whole movie nowadays. Have to really find that passion back again.

my life is back on track but I just somehow forget how life was 4 years back. Maybe I was too occupied with work back then that every saturday and sunday seem like time in heaven. Can't wait for my project to start. Then I'll be occupied with project day and night. Hahaha.

Must draw out a plan on how to spend my time. Doubt I'm gonna live to 100 so i may actually past my quarter life already. Hahaha.

Anyway, me gonna enjoy the rest of the day just lazing around and most probably get some friends out for a drink or snooker later at night.

2 all, never ever live in self-pity, gets you no where.
hmm.. that i surely know. hahaha

ciaoz.

after cell...

had a wonderful time at cell today. Enjoyed the sharing and the learning together. We are actually really really very fortunate being able to come together to sing songs, share, pray, cry, laugh together. Really feel for people who do have the opportunity to do so. Who wants to do so but are unnoticed. Who wants to be cared for but no one is there for them. I feel there's so much needs in the world and there's not enough people who cares. I for one am guilty of not caring enough. I can't do much for people around the world but my prayer can. For people who are near me, whenever I can, I really need to do something to help out to care, to show love and kindness too. Not to expect anything in return but to demonstrate Christ's love to them so that they know that Christ cares for them so much He was willing to sacrifice His life to die for them.

Learnt also that sometimes being Mr. Fix-it-all or Mr. Know-it-all really is no good. Some people may like or treasure a person like me but some may not. I need to learn when to help and when to say "yah I know how you feel" cause sometimes all that person wants is to talk to someone and for the someone to just listen and shut-up. Hope it's not too late to start learning how to show care and concern. Indeed there are many love languages and I think I fail terribly in the area of words of encouragement/affirmation for my words seem to bring down people more than anything. My prayer for this season of change is for God to teach me words to use to encourage and to affirm people. For God to add to my patience and to add to my wisdom to know when to speak and when to listen. For God to teach me to love new love languages to people around me who are so different. Some may require a hug while some needs lots of words of encouragement. I need the wisdom to decide what language for which person. And I really need God's help.

Cell ended with durian and ice-cream buffet. Makaned till super full and I think I will have a sore throat tomorrow.

God really is awesome. I really really feel that I'm where I am today because of His grace. I really thought I can never ever stand up again but in Him everything is possible. I just feel so comfortable knowing that He's in control of all things and His angels are around everyone I love and care for. With that in mind, I can really have peace in my heart and even a smile on my face.

Miss the twins alot. Must pay them a visit someday. Don't know whether can they talk already but I think they must be super cute now.

Time to call it a day...
tomorrow gonna be a long day but hopefully all will be good.

nitez..

end of the week and durians...

yeap.. it's the end of yet another week. Time's passing by so quickly. Suddenly realize that I'm already 25 years old. It was 8 years ago since I left form 5. Hahaha.

Not too sure why but I'm having the choose to remember and choose to forget kind of thinking right now cause I sure can't remember some parts of my life and I can clearly remember some. Maybe that's how I overcome difficult times? hahaha. i really don't know.

Anyway, work's pretty boring these couple of days. Once the postponement of the major project was announce a couple of days back, everything became super slow and boring. Can come home early somemore. Hopefully next week will be much better.

On the way back from office, stopped by near UPM to get some durians. Looks good from the outside and it even looked good when the durian seller opened a side for me to see. But I just opened one just now and it was "grow potato", "sang fan shue". Hahaha. Wanted to bring one over for leng's father to try but since quality not too good better not lah. Hahaha. Anyway, hopefully the rest of the 7 durians are much better in quality. Texture wise it's already there but quality err.. still too early to tell. If it's good, I'll return for more on Monday. hahaha.

cell's on tonight. Really want to have a good time laughing and sharing with cellies. After that if it's still early, maybe can play RISK!. haha.

alritey.. better go get a shower first. Then go makan mutton curry with rice. Superb delicacy. muahaha.

ciaoz.

Be glad for this is the day that the Lord hath made!

Indeed be glad... for every breath we breathe comes from him. Every morning, the very fact that we can wake up and see the bright bright sun speaks of his abounding grace and unfailing love and continuous blessings in our lives. On the way to work, said a prayer for everyone I know. Asking that God grant His favour upon everyone's life. I know that He will indeed be the source of strength for all who knows Him.

Life is full of uncertainties, living everyday by faith is difficult but if we really manage to do it, the feeling of overcoming uncertainties by the grace of God is just so overwhelming.

Before we all start work today, why not commit the day to God? remember worship is not just restricted to Fri, Sat and Sunday. Let Him be in every decision you make, in every plans that you plan and He'll make it all good in His time and His own might and beautiful way.

God bless you all and have a joyfilled day.

smiling and laughing within cause of Him.

ciaoz

American Idol finale.. delayed.

hahaha. I know the results already.


TV showing 2nite. But good also lah, can get to watch. I think both equally good in their own capacity.

Going to be a short post today cause wanna watch AI with family. Great family bonding time. Glad I did what I did today again. Enjoyed every bit of the day. From the boring work to the sending car to service. hahaha should be the other way round. Anyway, somehow I feel so good today. Must be my new shirt. Or my new phone. Eh.. havent buy yet. Hahaha. Ok a bit gila already. My cue...

hahaha.. how i wish.. anyway.. me going to watch AI now.

will post another if still early else call it a day.

ok.. tell you the winner lah...

DAVID!!!

ciaoz.

at home... car sent for service.

yayy... MU won. Super dramatic towards the end. But i think Chelsea would have won if it wasnt for.. Drogba's sending off and Terry's missed shot. Anyway, the ball is round and it could have gone either way. Another great season for Sir Alex and his kids.

After the game, did not feel sleepy at all. Just stayed up in my bed smiling in my heart knowing that all's good somehow. Strangely enough sometimes I think I'm either too positive in life or crazy. People go through tough time in life too but I think the privilege that I have is that I have God to walk me through this phase of life. Seriously lots of people going through super tough time in life. Compared to theirs, mine's like peanuts. That is why I think instead of counting bad times in life, why not count blessings and good times? I'm sure they out number bad times. And even if they don't, why concentrate on the bad times? God did not make us to keep lingering on on bad and hurtful times. He gave us memory to remember the good times and to learn from the bad. Not too remember bad times and stay there forever right?

We seem to make lots of decisions for our lives and when they are good, we give credit to ourselves, but when they are no good, we blame God and everyone around us. So human isn't it?
From the day I told myself to stand up again, I've decided to recommit my life into His hands asking that He'll guide me day by day. He has not failed me since and I know He'll never. I can't say I'm recovered 100% cause that'll only make me not human but I can say that I'm depending on Him 100% cause whenever I feel hurt, I immediately focus my attention to the cross and all will be taken care of.

Talking about being positive, really respect a snr. manager of my company. He's been assigned to be stationed in Cambodia for a year or so. He was quite disappointed cause the assignment was much earlier than expected and he really wished it could be postponed cause he wanted to spend more time with his family. Something he told me about what his son said really moved me. His son asked the mom, "why daddy needs to go far away to work? If it's for the money, I will not spend unnecessarily." I think his son is about 11years old. Beautiful isnt it? If I have a son in the future, I would want to bring him up the same way. Well about the snr. manager, he's being very positive and every time I see him, I tell him that there's something good out of all these and he totally agrees. He knows that there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. He's a man of God and I think that makes things much easier for him being overseas alone. My prayer would be that He can live a life exemplary of Christ and he can be light and salt wherever he's placed.

well, after all said. I too have to mempositivekan my already positive life cause in order to impact and influence lives around me, I need to have a faith that is unshaken, I need to have a joy that is limitless and all these can be found in Christ. By writing down things I say, I think i'm accountable to whoever reads this and if I fail to live a life according to what I say I will live, please do advise or even scold me. You have all the permission in the world to do so. Thanks in advance. Hahaha. An invitation to scold and criticize eujoe, rare but true. Ok only if i'm wrong k? Try and scold me when I'm right see what you get... hahaha must be patient..

okiez..
gonna spend some time surfing net for latest news around the world. For loyal readers of my blog, thanks for spending so much of your time here. It's a real encouragement to me to see people really taking time and effort to read and to know more about me. If there's anything whatsoever that I can do to also encourage and to assist any of you, please please do let me know.


verse for today..

Some trust in chariots and some in horses,but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.(Psalm 20:7)

in our daily lives, do we just depend on the experiences and knowledge of our own? and how do we live our life using the knowledge that we have (acknowledging that wisdom comes from Him) and at the same time relying on Him to guide us through? Maybe we need to stop reading books and chasing after things that give us the impression that we need to depend on God less than we already do. Tough for us now but when David wrote this psalm, I think he was actually preparing for war and it was not just a figure of speech. David still had to get ready for battle. He didn't just sit there waiting for a miracle. At the same time, the victory had to come from God, not his preparations. How do we do the same?

a point to ponder on..

ciaoz.

project postponed!!! argh..

after all the rushing and late nights and weekends... now postpone... sighs..

thought I can be super occupied for the weeks to come.. now.. sighs.. Must find more programme for myself already. Need to grab more work to do at work so that I can occupy my mind with more more work. Hahaha.

I think more people were unhappy then happy after the news was delivered to all. Seriously everyone just hoped it was done and over with as soon as possible. Now, delayed to mid June. Sighs, my leave in late June also have to cancel already. Nevermind lah, take early July instead. Must quickly utilize my leave if not I need to burn again. Every year also contribute to PBB. sighs.. hmm. no where to go this year. Anyway, don't plan to go anywhere also. Save money muahaha.

Lunch and dinner were provided today. Not too bad lah. Nothing to complain about since it's free. Much better than a couple of days back. One look at the food and I was very full already. Hahaha. Dinner was quite alright cause we ate from different section illegally. hahaha.

After dinner, came home and went straight for gym thereafter. Enjoyed the workout. Got to talk to a Sports Science dip holder, doing his internship with True Fitness. Got to learn some interesting facts of exercise and also got to help him with his survey. Well, glad I got to help. And now I know that rowing is actually really for cardio workout. Talking of gym, I seriously need to arrange a time with the PIC to talk about my current contract which will expire next month. Must bargain for some good good deals or else I'll just go somewhere else or just stop for awhile and move on to other sports.

Need to sleep a little before the big game later. Quite sad watch at home alone but also quite tired to go out to watch with friends. Nevermind also lah, got rewards and also consequence for every decision made. Way of life.

Gonna drop my car for service tomorrow. So fast 5k already. Hopefully nothing much needs to be changed. Oh yah.. it's actually Anni..thing day today.. hahaha nolar I meant anniversary lah but yupp, it's in the past already. Move on and move forward to pursue new things in life mah.. right? seriously need to go pyramid to look for a snooker cue. Can't be using house cue all my life. hahaha..

Alritey... that's all fer today.

2 all, take care God bless and May God's presence be with wherever you may be!!!

ciaoz.