My Life.....

I'm back to where I was but this time only stronger. I've cried, I've laughed, I've been through it all. Well, not all but I've been through a fair deal of mixed emotions. I have to admit I'm lost, clueless, puzzled and confused. I've heard that it is only when you are in the most distressed and hopeless situation that God works through you. Saying that God knows best sure is easy but really believing it in my life is difficult. I can't thank Him enough for everything that I have today. Many would see me as someone who's blessed and indeed I believe so too. Sighs, I'm guilty of asking for more. I'm guilty of not being grateful and thankful at times. Not being appreciative of the countless blessings that God has given to me.

I'm hurting... I know it's only normal. Need to really depend on His grace to see me through. I'm not as tough as I thought I would be. This is indeed a humbling process. God really knows how to hit me where it hurts the most. Not blaming Him but maybe I'm just not patient enough to see the good out of the whole thing. Maybe I should be learning patience. I really need to just be patient enough to anticipate and be quiet enough to listen.

Sighs, i'm living in regrets but I know I have to really propel myself out of this situation i'm in. When I know not what to do and what to think sometimes, all I could do is to just cry out Father, Father, Father... sometimes I don't get a response but I know He's there. The matter of the heart is really the most impossible to figure out and the most difficult to fix. Arghh.....

gjgpdoiugpdfklgdkfgdfogpidgfk

just messed up, don't know lah... too much head knowledge but can't reach the heart. Hopefully just hopefully I can really climb out of all these becoming a better person. Living everyday for itself is something I never would have done a year back but now just enjoying and understanding the fact that everyday is a new blessing from God and is a new day that I can anticipate His grace and mercy. Malas to plan too far ahead. So what if we store up tons of savings planning for our future when sometimes what we want and what we plan just dont work out. Well but I should not worry too much coz my future is already crafted in His perfect plan.

AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

much better... hahaha..
shouting in cyber space can be done anytime.. no noise polution.

just realize it's Merdeka eve. Used to plan for countdowns but this year... as celebrations are mellower due to cut costs measure by the gov, well guess I should also just be quieter and just recount the many blessings God has blessed Malaysia as a nation and to me as a citizen of Malaysia.

took me 3 hours to complete this simple post... but I do feel a little better now.

gonna go makan wan tan mee... super hungry..

=)
smiling despite the hurt for I know God knows best.
ciaoz...